A Poet’s Testimony (Part 4)

A Poet’s Testimony (Part 4)

Finally out of college, I landed what most would consider a dream job; I was an Instrument & Controls technician for a nuclear power plant still under construction in Oswego, New York. Once built, the plant had an expected life of forty years. If I played my cards right, I would be set for life. While under construction and before the NRC established mandatory fatigue rules, I was working twelve hours a day, seven days a week, and rolling in the dough; however, I had no time to spend any of it. All I did was sleep, eat and work.

I obviously have no justifiable right to complain about work, as most people would have done almost anything to have the job I had, but the grass is not always greener. My wife, the boys, and I lived comfortably, but I was miserable. After the construction was complete, things weren’t much better. I went into management and quickly found out that I could get paid the same for working sixty hours as for forty hours and that fifty plus hours were expected each week. Still I managed to go to college nights for the next ten years and finished my Engineering Degree, usually one course at a time. I even went after my Master’s Degree for a bit, but finally had enough and dropped out nine credits short of finishing. My additional education hadn’t earned me an extra dime at work and I was tired of spending every free minute studying. I wanted some kind of normalcy in my life.

One emergency, one project, one cause evaluation, just leads to another. As soon as I finished working weekends to get some new thing up and running, it would be time for me to gear up for the next new thing. It never stopped and my time was never my own.  My wife and I tried going to church on the weekends when we could and I still read the Bible when I could, but that was the extent of our Christian life. I had no fellowship with other Christians and I was about as far from God as a believer could be. After twenty years, I didn’t like myself much. I was short with people and often lost my temper with my boys. My wife seldom got the attention she deserved and I complained incessantly. Deep down, I knew that I wasn’t living the life that God had intended for me; I had chosen profits and material goods over spiritual growth.

After my sons had left home and they began taking care of themselves, I became a little bolder and more outspoken at work. The last two years I spent daily praying that God would somehow free me from my bondage so that I could come to know Him and live the life He had intended for me. I couldn’t imagine how God could do this without destroying everything about me, but I knew that if anyone could pull it off, it would be God.

Twenty-two years into my career, my six co-workers and I were called into a closed door meeting with our Director. The Director began to belittle us for not contributing to a company sponsored charity. I won’t mention the name of the charity, but I will tell you that they had just received a considerable amount of negative press concerning misappropriation of funds, exorbitant salaries, private jets, and expensive out-of-town parties. It was known at the time that less than 60% of a given contribution would actually reach the charity and I had a list of all the senior management contributors in my pocket. I could have kept my mouth shut like everyone else that morning and I could have been a good employee, but I just couldn’t take the hypocrisy and lying anymore. Before I knew it, the words just came out of my mouth, “I have a list here of all the senior management contributors and you’re not on it.” The Director stuttered for a bit and finally managed to spit out, “I have a wife and three kids.” Again, my mouth moved without restraint, “So does everyone else in this room so you have no right to tell us what charities we should contribute to.” The meeting was quickly adjourned and I went from being an exemplar employee to an employee needing improvement in one day. Every line of my six-page performance appraisal was lined out and replaced with the same hand-written note; “David does not know how to act professionally in a public meeting.” Two weeks later, the company had a downsizing based on people’s performance appraisals. Mine was one of the lowest on site and I at last found my freedom.

For me, an enormous weight was lifted off my chest on the day I was let go; I felt a peace that I hadn’t experienced in over twenty years.  Not everyone of course took the news so well and security guards were present when the notifications were made. My Director personally escorted me off-site; he apologized for the way things turned out and seemed puzzled as to why I was selected. I reminded him of my most recent performance appraisal, but also assured him that he should not give it another thought. I remember saying, “This might just be the best day of my life.” I left there with the biggest smile on my face, absolutely confident that God had other plans for me.