A Poet's Testimony (Part 1)

A Poet’s Testimony (Part 1)

One evening while studying for a test at college, I found myself reading the same three to four chapters of an electronics book over and over; nothing was soaking in. I no sooner read it than I forgot it. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, had years of substance abuse caused me to be incapable of learning or was I just too stupid to learn? As I mulled over all these excuses in my mind, the answer suddenly became clear; my mind was so absolutely full and preoccupied with something else that nothing new was capable of getting in. I had been hurt by someone and I hated them for it. My heart had been broken and sorrow had turned to loathing. It had so completely taken me over and I didn’t even see it coming. It was a deep, deep hatred; a kind of dark and shameful disdain. It was the kind of hatred that seeks revenge and takes comfort in other’s pain and misfortune. It was the first time I recognized it and I was ashamed. I saw that I had chosen to do the ungodly thing and that I had been willfully feeding my anger for nearly two years.

I prayed as I never prayed before that night; My God, my God, I am so ashamed! I know now that I continue to willfully offend thee, but I can no longer control these feelings that now control me.  I cannot do this without you my God. Please cleanse me and take this hatred from me that I may live again. I fell asleep that night weeping with the Bible in my hand. When I awoke, I was a new man; my hatred had been replaced with love, understanding, and forgiveness. My thoughts were once again my own.

Twenty-five years later, after I had been saved and I had chosen to follow Christ, I found the strength to contact the one who had so devastatingly nearly brought me to my end. I immediately told her that I harbored no ill will towards her. We corresponded by e-mail for a bit and one day she apologized for what had happened. I told her that I never again wanted to hear her apologize for something that had happened so long ago. Never bring it up again; those demons were put to death twenty-five years ago. She later told me that she cried for three days and I knew that it had been wrong for me to withhold my forgiveness from her. It was something that she needed to hear. The circle of forgiveness was then complete and all wounds were on the mend or healed.

To be continued...

First Vespers Inspiration

The Inspiration Behind First Vespers

      Those who knew me when I was younger can testify to the fact that today I am a different man. God has done a great work in me. I only walked in the bright sunshine of the meadow for a short time before I realized that I had been stumbling in a dark forest for years. It was dark and then it was light. God Himself was my inspiration to write a book of Christian poetry. After working in the same job for 22 years, I found myself, by the grace of God, working a new job and being hundreds of miles away from my wife and family. One evening while seeking comfort in the Bible and saying my evening prayers, God spoke to my heart directly; saying, “This is your time on the mountain. Use it wisely.” This was an answering to prayer and I knew then that my time alone was meant to serve God. What I didn’t know was how I would go about doing it. As I recounted the few things in life I had been good at, I remembered that I had been recognized for my poetry in college. I had been published in six consecutive semiannual issues of American Collegiate Poets Anthology between 1981 and 1983. I decided to try my hand at Christian poetry and soon realized that I didn’t know enough about my topic. I studied the crucifixion and wrote my first poem, “Imagine Knowing.” The poem was unlike any I had previously written in that the thought of my Lord crawling made me cry. I e-mailed it to a Christian friend and said a prayer; “God, if this is how I will serve you, give me a sign that I may know it.”  Two hours later, I received an e-mail from a pastor and a church that I had never heard of. It was a request to use the poem that I had just written in an upcoming joint Good Friday Service with the participation of multiple congregations and clergy friends. My friend had shared my poem with Pastor Craig who I did not know at the time, but today is a dear friend of mine. Soon I had a request for a Christmas poem. One thing led to another and here I am six years later with a book on the Barnes&Noble and Amazon. 

Full Foreword from First Vespers - Spiritual Verses of Hope and Inspiration 

     Several years ago, while new in my pastorate, I was introduced to a church which delivered a prolific amount of street ministry and care to the underprivileged. While there, I was fortunate enough to meet one of the church Elders, who as it turned out, was also a friend of David.

     One day I received a forwarded email from this friend that included a poem written by David, entitled, Imagine Knowing. This was a poem that told the crucifixion story so meaningfully that it was as if Jesus himself were speaking to me. Being moved beyond comprehension, I asked this friend to solicit David’s permission to publish the poem in the bulletin to be used in our upcoming Good Friday service. This was to be an effort never before attempted by me, with the ecumenical participation of my clergy friends in a joint service at the Brewerton Christian Church. The service focus was to be the “Service of the Nails” and featured a five-foot cross situated at the front of the church with a hammer and 16 penny nails that each parishioner could nail into the cross itself. I had never been so moved spiritually. With the poem, the sermon, the hammering of the nails, the tear-stained participants and myself, I was forever changed as a Christian.

     It is important for the reader to recognize that poem by poem, as I reviewed this great offering, David and I were never physically able to meet until the work was nearly finished. David’s job often keeps him on the road, but God has kept us together; we are spiritual twins in Christ. This book was written by David as an answering to a call by God to tell His story in a memorable way. David’s talents were utilized to underscore the story, the meaning and the focus of God’s intent in poetic verse.

     This effort was not written to attract people to any particular denominational dogma or indoctrination. This is all about God and His Son Jesus Christ who saved David, me, and any in the whole world who would call upon His name.

     My wish is for God’s continued inspiration to my Brother-in-Christ, David; he is truly a man after God’s own heart. After reading this, let it wash over you just as it did me in the initial readings. You will find a new view of God and Jesus Christ, along with his presence here on earth.

This is David’s devotional work of love.

By all means, share it with others, remembering to

GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN!

Craig Wilson, Pastor (& David’s Friend) 
Brewerton Christian Church 
Brewerton, NY